It was a hard week. A week of looking back, remembering the good times, and the not so good times. I cried. I apologized to God and asked for His forgiveness (again), I longed for a redo, a chance to not only do it over, but to do it right this time.
Have you had days, weeks, or seasons like this?
Where the guilt and pain seem to overwhelm you. Those are hard days. But I also knew I couldn’t stay there, because the truth is, I can’t go back and right my wrongs. Neither can you. So the question becomes, how do we move forward with regret and sadness?
How do we live the abundant life that Jesus died to give us (John 10:10), when we have pain in our past, that occasionally makes an appearance in our here and now?
You allow yourself to feel your feelings, but you don’t succumb to them
It’s okay to feel what you feel. It’s okay to acknowledge your pain from the past. After all, good or bad, the past is a part of who we are today, and we simply don’t have the ability to erase it from our minds.
Feelings are also a God-given part of who we are. We just have to remember that our feelings were meant to serve us, not rule over us.
Jesus exemplified this perfectly.
In Mark 14:32-36, Jesus was in Gethsemane shortly before being arrested, which was shortly before His crucifixion.
In verse 34 Jesus said, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.” I don’t know about you, but I can totally relate to struggling with overwhelming sorrow!
Jesus had a big moment drawing near. He was getting ready to be crucified on the cross, not for His own sins, but for my sins, and for yours; and He knew it. He clearly was experiencing some strong feelings during that time, but I love what He says in verse 36.
Jesus says, “Abba, Father, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”
Jesus had His feelings, but His feelings didn’t have Him. The Father and Him had something important to accomplish, and He was not going to let His feelings deter Him from that.
Our feelings have a place in our lives. We will experience joy, love, and compassion, but we will also experience fear, sadness, and guilt…amongst other feelings, at times. The goal is not to not feel, the goal is to remember that our feelings do not rule over us.
In other words, you can feel regret and sadness over parts of your past, and not allow that to become the excuse that keeps you from staying on mission, and pressing into a better future, for yourself and your family.
Redirect your attention back to Jesus
When you find yourself stuck in the past, reliving some of the darkest moments of your life, and your feelings are threatening to overwhelm you, it’s time to redirect your attention.
Camping out in a place of guilt and regret isn’t healthy for anyone. Because when you’re hanging around there, it’s difficult to appreciate the changes in your life, the progress you’ve made, the person you are today, and the many ways God has blessed you.
It’s at this point that you need to redirect your focus and attention off of the thoughts causing you distress, and on to the One who chose to forgive you, long before you even knew you needed it.
When you turn your attention towards Jesus, you turn towards:
· Forgiveness: If you’re anything like me, in these moments, you probably find yourself asking God to forgive you, yet again, for those poor decisions.
The truth is, He forgave you the first time you asked. He’s not the one struggling to forgive us, often times, we are struggling to forgive ourselves.
Thankfully, we serve a God who is not only willing to forgive us, but also gives us the grace to forgive ourselves. When regret and sadness threatens to overwhelm you, instead of asking God to forgive you for something He’s already forgiven you for, ask God to give you the grace to forgive yourself.
· Mental Clarity: With overwhelming feelings, especially negative ones, there often comes confusion. This is especially true when you’re trying to recall accounts from the past. You can become confused about exactly what happened, what part you played in everything, and quite honestly, not knowing or being able to recall the exact details can be torturing in itself.
Confusion will never serve us well.
That is why in 1 Peter 5:7, we are told to cast all our anxiety on God, because He cares for us. God knows that sometimes, we’re going to have to be okay with not having all the answers, not being able to figure everything out, not being able to go into the past, and do things differently; and instead of dragging through life confused and distraught, He gives us permission to release all that causes us to be anxious on Him, so that we can have peace of mind.
· Peace: Jesus is the Prince of Peace, when you turn your attention towards Jesus, you are turning your attention in the direction of peace.
John 16:33 has always been one of my most favorite verses, and I love how it is written in the amplified bible. In it Jesus says, “I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace. In the world you will have tribulation and distress and suffering, but be courageous [be confident, be undaunted, be filled with joy]; I have overcome the world.” [My conquest is accomplished, My victory abiding.]
In other words, Jesus confirmed that we would face hard times. We would face regret and overwhelming sadness, but he said to be undaunted, even in the fact of all of that, because He has already defeated everything that threatens to defeat us.
When you turn your attention off of whatever is causing you heartache and on to Jesus, no matter how bad things was or are, you are synching back up with victory, and your mistakes, failures, and weaknesses no longer have any power over you or your life. Jesus has already defeated the power of that sin for you.
· Hope: It is because of Jesus, that we have the ability and courage to hope and believe for good things in our future, even if we’ve done or fell victim to, terrible things in our past.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).
Life with Jesus always involves looking forward, not fixating on what lies behind.
Show yourself some love
Chances are, if a friend came up to you and told you they were struggling with guilt and regret from decisions they made in their past, and having a hard time moving past it. You would extend them love. You would encourage them to forgive themselves, and you would remind them that the person they used to be, isn’t who they are today.
Be a good friend to yourself.
Because who you are today, isn’t who you used to be either. Extend yourself the freedom to be proud of how you’ve changed. The freedom to enjoy the wisdom you have now.
It’s okay to feel your feelings. It just isn’t okay for them to rule over you, or hold you hostage in a place of misery. When your feelings get to be too much, it’s time to remind your feelings, and your past, of who your God is, and how far He has brought you.
“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36).
I love the fact that Jesus didn’t just come to set us free from our sins, but He also came to set us free from pain, hurtful memories, bad choices, confusion, and so much more.
Making the decision to surrender your life to Jesus, allowing Him to be your Savior and God, literally changes every part of your life.
Are you ready for that today? Are you ready to experience what it means to truly be free?
If so, pray to Jesus. Tell Him you need Him, that you want to experience the love and freedom He died to give you. That you want to be free from your sins, and all that holds you back from having the relationship with Him he died for you to have.
He delights in answering such prayers. He delights in our freedom.
Peace be with you, today and always.
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