If I were sitting face to face with you right now, and I asked you to define love, what would you say? Would you define it as a feeling? Would you define it as a kind action? Or better yet, where would your answer stem from? Would your definition be based on how well you’ve loved or have been loved? Chances are, depending upon our life experiences, all of our answers would vary to a degree. So how do we get to the definitive root of what love is?
According to 1 John 4:7-8, it begins with God:
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
So here we learn a few things about love:
1. Love comes from God.
2. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.
3. Whoever does not love does not know God.
4. God is love.
Let’s dig deeper into each of these truths, so that we can get a clearer definition of what love is, that isn’t solely based on our personal experiences and assumptions of what love is.
Love Comes from God
Love seems to be the one thing we all desperately want. We look for it from our family members, we look for it from our friends, we search for it in romantic relationships, and in anything else that seems to be able to make us feel loved.
And that’s not necessarily a bad thing, right? We can, and should, receive love from others. The problem is, when we aren’t tuned in to the ultimate source of love, we allow others to define it for us, and they don’t always paint an accurate picture.
Let me give you an example of this.
Imagine I am the owner of a beautiful luscious strawberry farm. Every spring, my farm is known for producing ripe strawberries that tantalize the taste buds and are very pleasing to the eyes. My strawberries are always bright red without spots or blemishes.
I am known all throughout the neighboring cities for having the best strawberries around.
Now imagine you have a friend who is planning to visit my farm and pick some of these most amazing strawberries. Naturally, you ask her to please pick a small basket full for you as well, and to your delight she agrees to.
The next day, your friend arrives to your home with the small basket of strawberries hand-picked just for you. Initially so excited to receive this gift, with your mouth watering, you look inside the basket to find the strawberries discolored and molded.
You received what you wanted, but not in the way desired or expected.
Isn’t it so disappointing, when you crave something so beautiful and you expect to be satisfied, but in return you receive something far less desirable than what you hoped for.
This will always be the case when you seek from others, what you need to get directly from God. Yes, your parents should love you. Yes, your friends should love you. Yes, your spouse should love you. But the love you receive from any human could never compare to the love you receive from the Lord.
If you want pure, unadulterated, unconditional love, you need to get it directly from the source. Love from everyone else, while good and welcoming, will never compare to the Love of God.
Everyone Who Loves Has Been Born of God and Knows God
I think it’s safe to say that many of us have been loved at times, in ways that didn’t always feel very loving. Sometimes people claim to love you, but their actions convey something entirely different. When you experience this over and over again throughout your life, you begin to get a warped view of what love is. You begin to trust more in the words, than the actions, the character and the intentions behind the words.
But thankfully in 1 John 4:7 we get some clarity on genuine love. We’re told two things about people who love, so that we can learn to rightfully identify loving people who love directly from the source, and not according to their own opinions and warped views of love.
The two characteristics of a loving person are:
· They are born of God.
· They know God.
Now don’t get me wrong, I do believe a lot of people are attempting to love the best way they know how; according to what they were taught and what was modeled to them. But remember the example about the strawberries. In order for any of us to love well, we must first receive love and learn how to love directly from the source.
When you are looking for love in a person, look for God first. Where you find Him, you’ll find love.
Whoever Does Not Love Does Not Know God
It’s impossible to be connected to the source of love, and not be growing in love yourself. That certainly doesn’t mean we love perfectly, it just means we have a heart to, because we have a heart for God.
Romans 12:9 tells us love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.
In other words, sincere love is rooted in a person who purposely resists what is evil and continuously run towards what is good.
Without a doubt, it can be hard encountering people who claim to love us, but their love is not sincere. These people are trying to love in their own strength, according to their own terms.
But as we now see, that is not love.
Until we have a relationship with God, and are willing to receive His love for us, we will never know or be able to give sincere love.
God Is Love
Love is not something God created, it’s who He is.
And through His actions, character and intentions, He shows us what love should look like. Let’s look at a few verses to get some examples:
o John 3:16: For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
o Isaiah 40:28: Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
o 2 Peter 3:9: The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
These few verses gives us some insight into who God is, and therefore what love should contain.
In John 3:16 we learn that God loved us so much that he gave us his one and only Son, so that we would not spend eternity in hell, but have eternal life. We learn through God’s actions in this verse that love initiates, love sacrifices, and love cares not just about certain aspects of a person, but about their entire well-being and welfare.
In Isaiah 40:28 we learn that God does not grow tired or weary. What we learn from this truth about God is love never gives up on a person, never runs out and never diminishes.
And lastly in 2 Peter 3:9 we learn that God is patient with us, even in the midst of our sins and disobedience, because he doesn’t want any of us to perish and all of us to come to repentance. We learn here through God that love is patient, love cares about the very soul of a person, and love values relationship.
Most of us are guilty at one time or another of defining love according to our own experiences, our own insecurities, and our own beliefs. But there is only one who can define love, because He is love.
So, to recap, here are a few definitive things we’ve learned about love:
God is love and the source of love.
Love is not just words, but actions, character, and intentions.
A loving person is born of God and knows God.
Love is sincere; it hates what is evil and clings to what is good.
Love initiates
Love sacrifices
Love never gives up and never runs out
Love is patient
Love cares about people’s souls
Love values relationships
The next time you are looking to define love, just look at the character and ways of God, you'll find your definition in Him.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).
I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15).
Initiating new friendships can be awkward.
But the wonderful thing about Jesus is, He already initiated it for us. When He died on the cross for our sins, He swung open the door to friendship for us. All we need to do, is accept His invitation.
Have you accepted Jesus’s invitation? Are you a follower of Jesus, who has committed to following His commands? If so, know that He considers you His friend; and as you grow that friendship, you’ll quickly find that He is a friend greater than any other.
If you haven’t yet accepted that invitation, He awaits you. He longs to have a friendship with you. He paid a high price just for you. And when you are ready to step into that relationship with Him, all you need to do is tell Him so.
Tell Him that you believe He died on the cross for your sins. That you confess you are a sinner, in need of a savior. That you believe He died, rose again, defeated death, and now sits at the right hand of the Father, as the Son of God, and the Savior of the world. He has already initiated the friendship, you just need to accept it, and surrender.
I guarantee you, there’s no greater friendship, than a friendship with Jesus.
Now, let’s go and pursue peace.
I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s blog! I enjoy sharing content that help women live a life they truly love, because I know what it’s like to be living your life, but not loving your life. I know what’s it’s like to pour all of yourself into others, while your passions and your purpose remains unfulfilled.
I wrote my new book, Building Your Life from the Ground Up and Creating a Life You Love, to come alongside the woman who feels like something is missing in her life, who feels like she wants more out of life, but doesn’t even know where to begin to bring about those changes.
If that sounds like you, I invite you to sample my new book, Building Your Life from the Ground Up and Creating a Life You Love. You can find it here:
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